Can We Stop Trying to Be Better at Travelling Than Everyone Else?

Apparently, I’m too touristy.

Well, according to my teenage son anyway.

We’re heading to Thailand in December, and in the middle of one of our many conversations about the trip, he decided to point out that I’d chosen three of the most touristy places in the country.

Bangkok. Krabi. Phuket.

Cheers, son. Thanks for that.

Now, I could have reminded him that I’ve spent months researching this trip, carefully choosing places that I think will work for all four of us. But honestly, where’s the lie?! They’re hugely popular destinations.

And?

The best part of this whole conversation is that the very same child, who apparently thinks his mother needs to broaden her travelling horizons, has recently informed me that he’d like to visit Japan for his 18th birthday.

Where in Japan, you ask?

Tokyo.

You couldn’t make it up. Lol!

But it did get me thinking about something that’s been irritating me for a while.

When did travelling become something we’re supposed to be good at?

And more importantly, who decided what good travelling actually looks like?

Apparently, We’re All Doing It Wrong

Spend enough time scrolling through travel content and you’ll start noticing a pattern.

Somewhere is always overrated.

Somewhere else has apparently lost its authenticity.

That beautiful little town you saved to your favourites last year? Too touristy now.

And that beach you’ve been dreaming about visiting? Well, according to somebody on YouTube, you should have gone ten years ago before everybody ruined it.

It’s exhausting.

And there’s something a bit funny about the way social media works.

A destination gets discovered, photographed, filmed and shared thousands of times. Everybody starts talking about it. Travel creators tell us we absolutely MUST visit before it’s too late.

So people go.

And then, almost overnight, the conversation changes. It’s too crowded. Too commercialised. Too many tourists. Hang on a hot minute! You spent the last three years telling everybody to go there!

And here’s the part that really gets me.

People travelling to popular destinations and then complaining that there are too many tourists.

Babes.

You’re also a tourist.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I understand why people seek out quieter places. I’m one of them. I love wandering through little towns, finding family-run restaurants and spending time somewhere that doesn’t feel like it’s been designed entirely around visitors.

But that’s my preference.

It doesn’t make me a better traveller than somebody who enjoys a busy resort town.

And you know what else? I actually think we’ve started confusing personal preferences with some sort of travelling superiority.

The Instagram Effect

I love social media.

There. I’ve said it.

Give me a Friday evening, a glass of wine and a couple of hours scrolling through other people’s adventures, and I’m quite happy.

I’ve discovered some incredible places through Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. Social media has genuinely helped me plan and experience some of the best holidays of my life.

But there’s another side to it.

And it isn’t exclusive to travel.

We compare our bodies, our homes, our relationships, our parenting, our lifestyles.

And now, apparently, our holidays too.

It’s difficult not to sometimes.

We’re constantly seeing beautifully edited versions of other people’s lives. Gorgeous hotels, empty beaches, spectacular views and experiences that look like something straight out of a magazine.

Before you know it, something you were perfectly happy with starts feeling a little less exciting.

Maybe your hotel isn’t quite as beautiful.

Maybe your destination isn’t adventurous enough.

Maybe you’ve chosen somewhere everybody else has already been.

Or you’re simply not travelling the way the internet seems to think you should.

And I’m not being funny, but that’s the bit I find genuinely sad.

Because for most ordinary working people, holidays aren’t something we just casually throw together.

We work hard, save for the months and count down the days like it’s the biggest event of the entire fucking year! Because quite frankly, a lot of the the time, it genuinely is!

We can spend months, even years, imagining what it’ll feel like when we finally get there.

Imagine allowing somebody else’s opinion to take the shine off something you’ve worked so hard to experience.

And I say that as somebody who’s done exactly that.

More than once.

Apparently, Amalfi Is Overrated

Before our trip to Italy this summer, I watched countless YouTube videos about the Amalfi Coast.

And bloody hell, the number of people telling me it was overrated.

Too crowded. Too expensive. Too touristy.

I’ll admit, those opinions influenced my plans.

Instead of staying in one of the better-known towns, we booked a little family-run B&B in Furore.

But honestly? I’m so glad we did.

We absolutely fell in love with the place. The views, the quiet evenings, the feeling of being somewhere that suited us perfectly.

But here’s the thing.

We still visited Amalfi.

And I loved it.

Yes, there were crowds. Yes, it was expensive. And yes, I paid a frankly ridiculous amount of money for a lemon sorbet served inside an actual lemon.

Fifteen euros, if we’re being precise.

FIFTEEN.

For a bloody lemon.

But do you know what?

I was standing on the Amalfi Coast, somewhere I’d wanted to visit for years, eating my overpriced lemon sorbet and having an absolutely wonderful time.

Was it perfect? No.

Was it overrated?

Not to me.

And that’s what I think we sometimes forget when we’re so quick to dismiss popular destinations.

For somebody travelling from the other side of the world, the Amalfi Coast might be the holiday of a lifetime. They might have saved for years to stand in that very spot. Who am I, or anybody else for that matter, to tell them it’s not worth it?

If you’ve spent months dreaming about eating an overpriced ice cream in a lemon on the Amalfi Coast, please, go and eat the bloody thing.

Enjoy every last spoon.

You can worry about the price later.

Bali Nearly Gave Me a Nervous Breakdown

Now, Bali.

Oh, Bali.

If you’ve been reading Suitcases & Stories for a while, you’ll know just how much that island means to me.

But what you might not know is how many times I questioned whether we’d made a massive mistake before we actually got there.

I’d spent months planning our family trip. Three different areas. Carefully chosen accommodation. Activities that would work for four very different people. Thousands of pounds.

And then I’d open YouTube.

“Don’t Visit Bali.”

“Bali Is Ruined.”

“Why Bali Isn’t Worth It Anymore.”

Oh, for God’s sake.

Every time I watched another video, I’d have a little wobble.

Had I wasted thousands?

Had I spent all this money expecting beautiful scenery and tranquillity, only to book us into the Southeast Asian equivalent of Benidorm?

One minute I was ridiculously excited.

The next I was questioning every decision I’d made.

And then we arrived.

And do you know what happened?

We had one of the best family holidays of our lives.

Not because Bali was some untouched paradise. It wasn’t. There were busy roads, traffic, tourists and places that were far more commercialised than others. But none of that stopped us from falling completely in love with it.

We climbed Mount Batur, wandered through beautiful landscapes, ate ridiculously cheap fried chicken after a sunrise hike and spent evenings together in our villa in Uluwatu.

There were adventures, quiet moments, laughter and memories that still make me smile. And most importantly, the trip worked for all four of us. Individually and together. By the time we left, I wasn’t wondering whether Bali had been worth visiting. I was researching how we could live there. Ha!

So much for all those YouTube warnings.

And that’s not to say the people making those videos were lying. Maybe Bali genuinely wasn’t right for them. They expected something different. Or they’d visited years earlier and preferred how it used to be.

That’s fair enough. But their experience wasn’t going to be mine.

And I’m so glad I didn’t let it become mine before I’d even stepped off the plane.

Your Idea of Paradise Might Be My Idea of Hell

Here’s something else I’ve come to realise. We don’t all want the same things from a holiday. And thank goodness for that. Some people genuinely love all-inclusive resorts.

Seven days beside a pool, unlimited cocktails, entertainment every evening and absolutely no intention of leaving the hotel.

Personally, I’d probably be chewing through the perimeter fence by day three.

But that’s me.

If somebody works fifty weeks of the year and dreams of spending their annual leave doing absolutely nothing, who am I to tell them they should be out exploring local villages?

Likewise, somebody might look at my idea of a perfect holiday and think I’ve lost the plot.

A caravan in the Tuscan countryside?

Cooking dinner outside?

Wandering around little medieval towns?

Absolutely.

Sign me up.

I’ve had some of the happiest moments of my life doing exactly that.

But I wouldn’t expect everybody else to love it. And that’s the point. Someone spending their fifteenth summer in Benidorm because they adore the place isn’t travelling wrong. Someone backpacking through remote villages isn’t travelling better. A family visiting Disneyland isn’t less adventurous than somebody hiking through the mountains. They’re simply having different holidays.

And the beautiful thing about travelling is that we’re allowed to want different things.

But What About Overtourism?

Now, before somebody comes for me, I do think there’s an important distinction to make.

Overtourism is real.

Popular destinations can experience serious pressure on local communities, housing, infrastructure and the environment.

And sometimes the sheer number of visitors can make somewhere genuinely unpleasant to experience. Those conversations matter!

We should absolutely think about how our presence affects the places we visit.

Support local businesses where possible. Respect communities. Be mindful of the environment. Consider travelling outside peak periods when we can.

But caring about those things doesn’t require us to look down on other travellers. And choosing a lesser-known destination doesn’t automatically make somebody more responsible or enlightened.

There’s a difference between travelling thoughtfully and treating travel like a competition to see who can discover the most obscure place.

One is worthwhile.

The other is just exhausting.

And Yes, I’m Still Going to Phuket

Which brings me back to Thailand.

Phuket gets its fair share of criticism online. Too developed. Too commercialised. Too many tourists. Not the real Thailand. I’m sure some of those criticisms reflect genuine experiences. But we’re still going.

Not for our entire trip, but for part of it. Why? Because it works for us.

My son is passionate about Muay Thai. He trains regularly and absolutely loves the sport. And Phuket has an enormous Muay Thai training scene. For him, being somewhere with so many gyms and opportunities to train could be absolute heaven.

For me, I’m looking forward to exploring the island, finding beautiful beaches, eating good food and spending time with my family.

We’re not going because somebody on Instagram has declared Phuket the place to be.

And we’re definitely not avoiding it because somebody else has decided it’s no longer authentic enough.

We’re going because it offers experiences that suit us.

It’s really that simple.

And if we arrive and discover that some places aren’t for us?

Well, that’s travelling.

You learn.

You explore.

You make your own mind up.

Your Holiday Doesn’t Need Anyone Else’s Approval

I think that’s ultimately what I’ve been trying to say.

We’ve become so accustomed to seeing everybody else’s lives that sometimes we forget we’re allowed to enjoy our own without comparing them.

And holidays should be one of the places where we give ourselves permission to do exactly that.

Whether you’ve saved for three years to visit somewhere you’ve always dreamed of, booked a last-minute bargain or returned to the same resort for the twentieth time.

It’s your holiday.

Your money.

Your annual leave.

Your memories.

You don’t need to discover somewhere nobody’s heard of.

You don’t need to avoid popular destinations to prove you’re adventurous.

And you deffo don’t need to justify your choices to somebody who thinks they’ve discovered a superior way to see the world.

Take inspiration from social media. Read the reviews. Watch the videos. Do your research.

I sure will.

But remember that behind every glowing recommendation or sketchy review is somebody with their own expectations, preferences and experiences.

They’re not you.

And they don’t get to decide what you’ll love.

So if you’ve been dreaming about Paris, go to Paris.

If you want to explore Thailand’s most popular destinations, go and enjoy them.

If your idea of heaven is two weeks in Benidorm drinking questionable watered-down cocktails, crack on, babes.

And if, like me, you sometimes find your happiest moments sitting outside a caravan in the Tuscan hills with a glass of wine, well, there’s room for us too.

Because the best thing about travelling isn’t finding somewhere nobody else has been.

It’s finding somewhere that feels right for you.

And if three million people got there before you?

Well, good for them.

Now it’s your turn.

X

Want to build better holidays with the time and money you’ve actually got?

I’ve turned the way I plan our trips into a free 12-page workbook to help you do exactly that.

Start with the experience you really want, then work out the route, the budget, where to stay, what to book and what to leave the hell alone.

Pop your email below and I’ll send you Build Your Holiday Around the Experience for free.

SEND ME THE FREE GUIDE