Bali didn’t just “work” for us by accident. It worked because I built it to.
This was our first big trip as a family of young adults. They weren’t little kids anymore or dependent children. They were young people becoming themselves, and that changes everything.
At home, we don’t spend every waking minute together. That would drive us all insane. We overlap, we reconnect, we give each other space and then we come back together again.
So I knew this holiday had to reflect that rhythm. I couldn’t build an itinerary where the four of us were glued together all day every day just because we were abroad. That would feel forced, and forced never works.
Instead, I asked myself two questions from day one:
What does this holiday need for each of us?
And what does it need for us together?
Those two questions shaped everything. The activities, the timings, the locations, how long we stayed in each place and when we came back together again.
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My son needed independence. He needed access to his faith, gyms he could walk into confidently and the freedom to get around without relying on us for everything. So I chose areas where that was easy and where he could have some independence rather than feeling like he was just following his parents around Bali.
My daughter loves photography, so I knew Bali would give her plenty to work with. Beautiful places, interesting surroundings and loads of opportunities to get her camera out. But I also wanted to give her space to step outside her comfort zone without feeling pressured into doing things.
This was part of the reason Ubud made so much sense for us. It wasn’t just somewhere I wanted to tick off a Bali itinerary. It gave us the nature, the slower pace and the space to settle into the trip before moving on.
My husband needed balance. He likes peace but not boredom. He wants things to do, but doesn’t want every day packed from morning until night. So I built contrast into the trip. We had active days and slower ones, mornings where we were out early and evenings where we did absolutely nothing. Beach days, villa nights and plenty in between.
So yes, I built the itinerary, but I deliberately left space in it too.
At Banyuwana waterfall, my family wandered off to explore another cascade and I stayed behind.
For a little while, I wasn’t checking on anyone. I wasn’t organising anything. I wasn’t responsible for what everybody else was doing.
I just sat there.
That moment deserves its own story and eventually, I’ll tell it properly. But it told showed me that the way I planned this trip was working.
Because this wasn’t a trip where I held everything together while everyone else lived. We all had room to experience Bali in our own way, while still having this incredible trip together.
You Don’t Force Connection. You Design for It.
I think this was probably the biggest thing I learned from planning Bali. I didn’t need to force us to spend every minute together just because we were on a family holiday.
I could give everyone some independence while still building in the things that brought us back together. Meals, evenings, the villa, sunsets and the experiences we genuinely wanted to share.
And actually, giving everyone that space made the time we did spend together feel more natural. Nobody was being dragged along to something they didn’t want to do just for the sake of saying we’d done it as a family.
That’s why Bali worked so well for us. Not just emotionally, but practically too.
And I think that combination is a huge part of what made it unforgettable.
If you’re travelling with young adults, or even just a family with very different needs, this is probably the biggest thing I’d take from our trip:
Build around the people first. Then build around the place.
And there was one person who made a lot of that freedom possible.
Our driver.
Because finding someone to drive you around Bali is easy.
Finding the right person?
That’s a different story.
Want to build better holidays with the time and money you’ve actually got?
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